Ok, so here’s the story. The beginning of this year, my friend and I went on a trip together. We went during the weekend after my birthday so we were going to be celebrating. Well, my friend had just gotten out of a long relationship and was still pretty depressed about the whole situation. However, she is the one who suggested the trip. Ultimately, the trip turned out to be a disaster and I will discuss the reasons.
1. First, I tried to be as accommodating as I could and keep our options open with regards to what we would do while away. While I had been to this particular vacation spot before, she hadn’t. So I gave her some suggestions of what we could do, but she couldn’t seem to make up her mind. She would then tell me to pick a place…and once I would…she would end up not enjoying the experience at all. She wouldn’t say so…but I could tell by her behavior.
2. She just go out of a bad breakup and was still in mourning over the loss. So I can understand her being a little down and out. She often appeared to be huffing and puffing and very agitated while on the trip. I would ask her if she was ok…and if she wanted to just go back to the hotel…she would always assure me that she was fine and that she needed to just get out and do something to cheer her up. However, it seemed that no matter what we did…she would find something about it that she did not like.
3. It became very frusterating for me to be able to read her mind and tell if she was happy or not because her mood went up and down the whole time we were there…again…I expected this in a way because of her breakup…but she kept assuring me that she was ok and that there was nothing I could do and that she just wanted to enjoy herself.
4. I overheard her one night on her phone at the hotel whispering to a friend about me. I am not sure what was said…but I could tell she was talking about me. So I again asked her was she ok and if I had done anything to offend her…she said no and that everything was fine. But once again…I would find her huffing and puffing and acting really strange.
So…the trip eventually came to an end and we went back home. 2 weeks later…I find out from another friend of mine…that she said she hated the trip and that I was on the phone the whole time with my boyfriend and was being rude and inconsiderate. Now mind you…she never said any of this to me while we were on trip.
Just to give you some information….I was on the phone with my bf…but I didn’t think that I was on the phone too much. And there were times when I was on the phone in frusteration because she acted as if she didn’t want to do anything…and on top of that…didn’t want to talk about anything or being consoled when I tried to. And I certaintly didn’t know that my phone calls were bothering her. If I would have…I would have easily stopped it. I end up confronting her about the situation and asked why she didn’t let me know how she really felt. She said that it wasn’t a big deal and that it would have made me none the wiser. But it obviously was a big deal if she went so far as to tell another friend of mine but not me….who is the culprit of her accusations. I told her that I expect a friend to tell me if I am doing something to offend them…especially if we are on a trip together and she is not enjoying herself. But I didn’t appreciate her going behind my back and telling someone else. I apologized to her about my phone usage…even though I didn’t know it was a problem at the time. She never apologized for going behind my back…and we never really talked again to this day. I have tried to initiate conversation and even internet communication but all she does is blow it off and says that she hopes I’m doing well.
So…what should I do? Should I just leave her alone and chalk it up as a loss? I actually considered her a true friend and can’t imagine losing a friendship over something so petty. We had known eachother for about 3 years…and for it all to just end over a simple misunderstanding really boggles me. I have come to the conclusion that she probably didn’t value our frienship the way I did. And she comes off as being pretty unapologetic or unforgiving. Can some voice of reason help me see this situation for what it is and let me know what I need to do?
We are both in our late 20’s early 30’s.
