I’m 23. I’ve recently been out of 2 relationships…one being my first, for about 7 months (she broke up with me), and another for only 1 month (I broke up with her because of distance and it being too soon for me to move on). Both breakups hurt in their own respect…the first one, she moved on very quickly and broke my heart (continues to do so, as well), and the second, I broke my friend’s heart, which I feel guilty about.
Before that, I’d been dating for around a year, experiencing half a dozen first dates that went well but no follow-ups…another half a dozen girls who liked me a lot but wanted to be friends (some I still hang out with), a couple awkward situations (one girl from overseas who left for home 2 weeks later), and generally a lot of heartbreak.
I really want to move on with my life, but I’m finding that I think about girls far too much. From wanting to get back together with my ex, to being jealous of other guys she so much as shows affection towards, to my reasons for breaking up with another girl…
…to wondering what kind of person I am, having randomly hooked up twice, now (something I promised myself to never, ever do)…
Relationship woes and girls in general, I find myself thinking about far too much. It is very likely to do with my own insecurity, made only worse by my own heartbreak in my first/recent relationships. I still feel vulnerable, even, and I don’t want to end up being used by someone who shows me any sort of affection.
But it’s all I think about lately. Especially these past few weeks! It occupies my mind at work, constantly. I can’t be distracted by a movie or a book, no matter how hard I try, and I find myself getting caught up in my thoughts very frequently to the point where I’ll stop talking with friends and most often be put in this sort of anti-social mood where I don’t want to do anything except mope, or talk about my past relationship problems like I’m fishing for pity.
Which is no way to be, at all!
Help me regain my personality and my sanity! I don’t want to think about this stuff anymore!
bluey, thanks for the long answer, actually. The more the better, at this point. It’s really driving me up a wall.
Even sort of minor stuff hurts me, still. I watched my ex (of 3-4 months) make out with another guy last night, meaninglessly and not even very heavily, and I didn’t sleep a wink. This sort of feeling happens pretty frequently, where I’ll lose sleep, or overthink things to the point where I’ll become mentally exhausted.
I’m not particularly religious, but I have prayed some for peace of mind. It hasn’t really helped much, unfortunately.
My favourite pastime is writing, but, at this rate, I find myself unable to write anything except stuff like this. Requests for help. Explanations of my lack of luck in love, or not being able to break free of my thoughts about it.
Seriously, most frequently lately, nothing can hold my attention. I went to see a movie with friends yesterday and left the theatre 4 times because I couldn’t even sit still.
Be happy again! click here to learn how to get your ex back in your life
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take up drinking. or religion! they both are expensive, take over your life and make you say really stupid things.better chance of meeting a hottie in the bar than a church, but if its a goodie 2 shoes you wannt…………………………………………………………………………………
get your ex back
wow, um you seem very troubled. well let me say this, you sound kinda selfish – thinking about your relationships all the time, and how lonely you are. i mean, it’s not a bad thing, everyone has been there at some point. if it consumes your mind that much, you need to do something to stop it obviously. try working at like a shelter or something where you quit feeling sorry for yourself, and look at how good your life is. i know what your thinking – yea right like i’m gonna get another job! but seriously, that could help temporarily.
also, i don’t know if you are religious or not, but you could put it in god’s hands and just quit worrying about it. ask him to take your problem away, and try not to think about it, and you would be surprised what could happen.
if you want to put your self out there again, go to places where you would find girls that you wiuld like, not necessarily clubs.
one last thing, to get ‘yourself’ back, do the things that you love to do! what are your hobbies? rediscover yourself! thats what i had to do. hang out with friends. it takes a while to get over this stage, but you will.
good luck. sorry my answer was so long….
get your girlfriend back
With all of the drama surrounding you, you’re practically a girl yourself. There’s something wrong with you that’s causing you to look towards women in order to feel good about yourself. Free yourself from the estrogen fueled rollercoaster of emotions, and find something you’re passionate about in life—something that doesn’t involve girls. When you have something that’s more important to you than female relationships—your relationship with females improves dramatically.
I know that sounds contradictory, but it’s the truth